[clay]

Originally Posted by WheatToast

I wish I could get sleepy.
On Friday morning, I was scheduled to have breakfast with my best male friend, a straight, smart-assed, kind hearted guy I just adore.
He knew I was gay, but he didn't care about things like that.

I texted him Friday around 9 a.m. to see if we were still on, then I went about my business, remembering to text him again every hour or so.
He owns a restaurant, so when noon came and went, I just figured he had gotten too swamped to answer my texts.
By 2, I was getting concerned so I called him at the restaurant.
His manager answered, so I asked if he was there. She said quietly, "He died this morning."
I had to ask three times because my brain was not accepting it.
Finally, I said I was coming to the restaurant right then.

He had suffered a massive heart attack and died that morning in bed.
I'd just seen him the night before, and now he's gone.
We were very similar in personality and senses of humor. He always used to say, "Bye, babe, I love you," whenever we'd say goodbye.
I am not so quick to say I love someone, especially straight guy friends, but I had just started saying it back to him that last week.

He was only 50. He wasn't supposed to go before I did.

We had so many things going--I was helping him do some marketing and designing some new stuff for his restaurant. I wanted to create an outdoor cartoonish statue of him, like the old Bob's Big Boy character.
I had just showed him the cartoon roughs and he was into them.
We were inventing new menu items for his place.

I had just talked him out of being a "Colorado Republican." He was going to vote a straight Democratic ticket next month for the first time, ever.

And now he's gone.

I wish I could unscrew my head for a month and just stop the political headaches and worries, and now this pain.

WheatToast.......hugs. I am so sorry for the loss of your very dear friend! That is a huge void...and none of my words can fill that, just know you are in my healing energy vibes.