[imperfect_cupcake]

It's very difficult. I have managed to sever some of the ones that were absolutely damaging because to be perfectly honest, I just couldn't go there anymore. I just couldn't. something snapped.
Others however, I can ignore "I miss you" or "please..." or "Blahblahblahfuckinhearditallbeforeblahblah" because I don't believe it anymore but then something they say makes me lose my temper and I "tell them off" and that's their foot in the door - they then say something in that argument that makes me laugh. Then, I'm fucked. I melt.

And I'm speaking to them again. I'm thinking of two people in particular. I have let go of one and our friendship just does what it does. I don't expect anything at all from her anymore and since that I have to admit we are getting along very well. I don't want anything from her aside from occasional understanding. I know what she's like and that's just that. I accept and just love her for who she is, and everything that goes with it. I don't have to make any kind of commitments to it.

The other is harder. It's my wife and we are just ending the divorce. She still, to this day, 20 months later, still tells me how much she loves me, how sorry she is, that I'm her very best friend and blahblahblah and still says extremely hurtful things that she doesn't even understand she is saying.

But I take a deep breath now and just let go. It hurts, but she's just letting words blather from her mouth. She means them for the five minutes she says them.

It's been my experience that most people are like this. So I no longer trust words at all. I miss you means, really, fuck all. It just means at that moment they are feeling sorry for themselves and lonely and some words tumble out of their mouths fired at your that take the shape of the letters I-m-i-s-s-y-o-u. What does that even mean, exactly? Who knows. it's something they are feeling and it comes out of their mouths. For me, it doesn't mean much. it's just words and passing feelings of someone else.

If you can get fed up and let go of reading any meaning whatso ever into the blather people spill, focus on the actions they do. anyone can say anything at all. focus on what they have done and what they do. And try your best to just let go.

It's not easy but you do get there, eventually. If you feel you have to, set a rule up on your email for a while to just automatically trash her letters for a while as well so you don't have to read it.