Quote:
Originally Posted by honeybarbara
It's very difficult. I have managed to sever some of the ones that were absolutely damaging because to be perfectly honest, I just couldn't go there anymore. I just couldn't. something snapped.
If you can get fed up and let go of reading any meaning whatso ever into the blather people spill, focus on the actions they do. anyone can say anything at all. focus on what they have done and what they do. And try your best to just let go.
It's not easy but you do get there, eventually. If you feel you have to, set a rule up on your email for a while to just automatically trash her letters for a while as well so you don't have to read it.
|
I agree with these statements wholeheartedly. Don't wait for the next email to come about....but take a moment now when you are feeling somewhat strong and set up a rule for your email so you don't have to see the letters when they come through. Reading them only takes you back instead of helping you to keep healing and moving forward.
My ex and I were together 17 ½ years when we broke up. As yours, this was also a very abrupt, emotionally-damaging ending.
The anniversary of this event was 4 years ago….tonight….(I guess happy anniversary to me...lol). The emotional games didn’t stop for quite some time, as well as the emails and phone calls.
Our situation was challenging as we both work for the same corporation…..and we are 2 of the 8 Product Line Managers for our organization…reporting to the same director. Soooo…..I have to see her at a minimum of at least once a week for meetings.
It did have to get to a point where I did not answer her calls after hours as well as I blocked her from sending emails to my home email account. If I didn’t block her….I knew that I would be curious if an email came through and would end up reading it….so I took that temptation away. Work was much easier to control.
This week I had to see her several times. I keep it all business and basically do not go out of my way to talk with her. I do not want to, or intend to ever be her friend….she didn’t earn, nor does she deserve my friendship.
Again, you will eventually let go, but it will take some time. Each and every day, it does get a little bit better. Don’t try and rush it….it will happen.