To me, there's a way to acknowledge that a woman is beautiful or handsome in a way that is safe and affirming. We do it all the time on this forum, and it feels good to the recipient to be appreciated. It's consenting, and it's welcomed. Gads, is it welcome!
But then there's leering, blatantly sexual. Don't get me wrong, in some contexts (such as with your partner and when it's consensual and even mutual), that's great! I've been there
. This, however, was just objectifying.
There's nothing about being a lesbian that makes you automatically woman-loving and appreciating. That incident with the waitress was just Porky's with a vagina.