Truthfully I know I am quite damaged through many experiences in life. But I can also say I have grown and healed a great deal in recent years, not least through the unconditional love and understanding from my loved one.
I few I can think of straight off are....gifts: I used struggle to allow Hym to send me things.....in my crazy childhood I always had to `pay` in some way if I received anything, either material or a nice experience, attention etc....so I have a default emotion of fear when I am blessed or happy about something...I have come a long way in this. Hy has finally taught me that Hys attentions and generosity do not have a price tag.
Another would be feeling `not good enough`....in many ways but one example would be that when we first found each other despite mailing and speaking on the phone for...wait for it.....maybe 6 months....it was only then I felt confident enough to send Hym my photo. It was all credit to Hym that despite asking a couple of times, when I stalled Hy would laugh and say it didnt matter as Hy adored me anyhow no matter what I looked like.
There are quite a few more but to be honest I dont really want to visit that head space for long so I`ll leave it there....
I would happily say that I am far more whole and healed now than I was few years ago.
Daisy
