Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Question to butches and how they deal with differences in dating

princessbelle · 01-18-2015, 04:21 PM

I've been following this thread and trying hard to understand exactly what to post about that is related to the core subject. It is very interesting and the words in here are so good to hear. I am yearning for deep discussions and i thank the OP for bringing light to a deep subject.

I guess though i'm having a blond moment and not exactly sure what to post about, however i want to be a part of this discussion so i'm gonna give it a try...

Regarding relationships and who seems to fall in the category of monogamy faster, butch vs. femme; I find it totally depends on the individual and i have not actually seen a trend, in my life anyway.

Sometimes, it was me that jumped in too fast and sometimes it was a partner that seemed to push. The main point i would like to make is this....everyone has different ideas of what a "relationship" or "dating" should be. When i meet someone new and we date, to me that it is just dating. Dating is dating. Discussion can be made at some point on the monogamy part. This is the time we try each other out, the mental connection, culturally, spiritually, physically. Even if i am monogamous, it's not set in stone i will be there long term, forever type stuff. Again, this is *my* definition of dating.

This is where i feel at least in some of my past relationships, communicated or not, it has been a real problem. Some will see monogamous dating is "forever and a day" some won't. I see it just as dating and that's it. Thankfully, a few of my exes agreed with that and we continue to be friends, no matter which of us broke it off. But, i've found that even if you discuss this at the beginning, there are problems later if the other person does not share your views 100%. You can't know for sure you want to spend the rest of your life with someone until you've known them a long time and been around them a lot. That's how i feel anyway.

Bottom line for me Communication is the key. Discussing what dating means specifically, monogamously or not, deeply with each party involved will make it easier in the end, if there is one.

01-18-2015, 04:21 PM	#53
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,503 Times in 5,201 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I've been following this thread and trying hard to understand exactly what to post about that is related to the core subject. It is very interesting and the words in here are so good to hear. I am yearning for deep discussions and i thank the OP for bringing light to a deep subject. I guess though i'm having a blond moment and not exactly sure what to post about, however i want to be a part of this discussion so i'm gonna give it a try... Regarding relationships and who seems to fall in the category of monogamy faster, butch vs. femme; I find it totally depends on the individual and i have not actually seen a trend, in my life anyway. Sometimes, it was me that jumped in too fast and sometimes it was a partner that seemed to push. The main point i would like to make is this....everyone has different ideas of what a "relationship" or "dating" should be. When i meet someone new and we date, to me that it is just dating. Dating is dating. Discussion can be made at some point on the monogamy part. This is the time we try each other out, the mental connection, culturally, spiritually, physically. Even if i am monogamous, it's not set in stone i will be there long term, forever type stuff. Again, this is my definition of dating. This is where i feel at least in some of my past relationships, communicated or not, it has been a real problem. Some will see monogamous dating is "forever and a day" some won't. I see it just as dating and that's it. Thankfully, a few of my exes agreed with that and we continue to be friends, no matter which of us broke it off. But, i've found that even if you discuss this at the beginning, there are problems later if the other person does not share your views 100%. You can't know for sure you want to spend the rest of your life with someone until you've known them a long time and been around them a lot. That's how i feel anyway. Bottom line for me Communication is the key. Discussing what dating means specifically, monogamously or not, deeply with each party involved will make it easier in the end, if there is one. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou