Originally Posted by gotoseagrl
I am very, very stone, obviously on the femme & bottom end of things. And I have discovered a lot regarding this identity. As people often say, it can be a different meaning for different people. For me, stone is more in the old-fashioned sense and means a number of things: how one is willing to touch or be touched as well as how that relates to the person's masculine or feminine identity (for me & my partner). I know that's not the case for everyone, but it is for me and those I date. I am used to being with someone who isn't comfortable being made to feel femme or feminine in certain ways they are treated, just as I am not on the flip side of that. In some ways this doesn't matter, but in others it does. For example, chest area not being touched or handled the way mine is, who is penetrated or not, and even other relationship roles & dynamics as well.
Furthermore, I think it really depends on the person you are with, regardless of how stone you are. I have been with someone totally non-stone before who didn't even attempt to violate my preferences, as I guess they were just naturally & happily adjusted to what I was comfortable with or not. To others, they might find it too difficult to not receive what they need in a non-stone way.
I've also had a situation where a mostly stone person was able to very respectfully break one of my limits in a way that was totally unexpected and that showed me that there was a certain "thing" I was willing to do with this person out of the immense love and attraction there. And that I actually truly enjoyed it ... because I was still viewing it from a perspective that was natural to me and my partner. But had the perspective & mindset been shifted or flipped, I would not have liked it. And this was a smaller limit that practically every person I've been with or met before, stone or not, expressed a strong interest in. I just never had much confidence going there, until it happened with the right person, and I found it to be amazing.
I think the bottom line is that stones come in all shapes and sizes. Breaking boundaries or even violating limits is something that can happen in relationships and situations, in general. If you are with someone who is trying to "melt the stone" and that is not what is wanted, then that is just wrong, as it would be in any other type of situation too. But I stand firmly with the fact that having one of your limits broken, or finding that you like doing (or having done to you) something you didn't before, or don't a lot, absolutely does not mean you are not stone. People who aren't stone are usually way more fluid with things, and in my experience, stone people are just never that way, regardless of what they might like or allow sometimes. I don't think someone who truly identifies as stone can have that "melted" away. There's a reason it was there in the first place, and for some it might just evolve with time.
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