[blush]

That discussion sparked me to start thinking a little more critically about how the Femme community impacts and is impacted by this same continuum of "being more homogenous/acceptable/feminine (and insert any number of things that mean "more than what you already are")".
How do we as Femmes impact the visibility of Female Butches?
This question made me defensive, and I don't really know why. My gut reaction is I don't really care how I impact others' visibility, especially butches. So often femmes are identified by who we fuck vs. who we are. This question struck me as an extension of that stereotype. I think the phrasing made me feel like I should apologize if I do impact their visibility. Perhaps I'm just not sure what you mean?

Do we, as Femmes, have a continuum in our own community where the hyper-feminine is more valid/valued? What does that look like to you when it's in action?
I don't feel it as much as I used to in my immediate (R/T)community. I have felt it strongly in the past. It looks like my Hooters/Martha Stewart movie nightmare. It reinforces boring stereotypes and creates competition to be the fairest of them all.

How does this continuum affect our visibility or does it?
Whose visibility? Femmes? or the whole community?

There was also some discussion around pronoun usage and several folks brought up what it might look/feel like to a Femme if she were "he'd" on a regular basis out in the world but also (and especially) in this community.
Thoughts on this?
I wouldn't like it.

I'm having some thoughts on visibility and the celebration of movement toward each end of the spectrum for both Femmes and Butches. Particularly Im thinking about how there is something going on with Butches being celebrated as they move toward a more masculine presence and Femmes being celebrated if they maintain a more "hyper" Femme way of being. (Although I will say that I personally don't feel a huge push in our community to be more "valid" as Femmes by being "more" Femme)

Im thinking about how all of these things might affect our visibility as Femmes and how much we do/should care if we are invisible to the outside world. Do you think it is important for people to see you as Femme? Do you feel seen as a Femme in this community? How do you think your experience as a Femme with invisibility is affected by the marginalization of Female Butches?
It is important for me to be seen as femme. Femmes tend to be fierce, unique beings who grab femininity by the balls and never let go. So to speak. I'm proud to be one. I don't think my experience as a femme is affected by the marginalization of female butches, but my social circle is almost exclusively male identified butches.