Today we found out my mom has cancer again. In September we went for her 3 month check-up and her blood work showed that her CA125 was high. They told her to wait 30 days to test again. We did that Tuesday and on Wednesday they called to say the numbers were higher than in September and that she should have a CT scan of her chest, abdomen and pelvis. That appointment was today and they said the results would be available in 24 hours. I was thinking Monday afternoon or Tuesday we'd hear something. However, they called right after we got home to say the cancer is back. Tuesday we have an appointment with her oncologist.
Understandably my mom is upset. She's resting on the couch and she asked me to call all my siblings because she doesn't want to talk about it.
These last 30 days have been hell. She's been so stressed and of course that overflows on to me and the grandkids because she's so tense.
I don't know what to expect now. She had already said she doesn't think she can do it again. She fought last time and I know she'll fight again...she just seems defeated right now. Our family doesn't show or share our feelings or emotions so it's hard to know what to say.
I moved home from Atlanta to help her when we found out she had cancer the first time. I haven't had a job since. I was just starting to look again because she had been doing so well. When we found out in September about the blood test my older sister said I should hold off looking until we know. Even though I've been helping my mom I still feel like a loser for not working and I worry the longer I go the harder it will be. My other siblings don't help so I feel sort of lost right now.
I say we throughout this post because even though my relationship with my mom has been horrible at times I feel like we are a team when it comes to fighting this cancer.
I wish I could make it all better for her.
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