[Genesis]

“A person is only being human and worthy of respect and admiration when open about flaws and imperfections so he or she can deal with them honestly.

Openness is essential for us to be able to trust in relationships because it allows us to deal constructively with these elements of imperfection. If I know that I am imperfect, am unreliable in the way I perform my responsibilities, or irresponsible toward justice in relationships, then deep down I know that everyone copes with the same problem. When one is open about these flaws, the person is openly acknowledging that areas of deficiency; this makes it much more likely that the person will use the openness as an opportunity to correct shortcomings and to grow. Openness alone about flaws without addressing the shortcoming is unfortunate in relationships because it demands that the other relational partner simply adjust to the shortcoming and live as if a problem cannot be corrected or is actually no problem. While we agree acceptance in relationships is important (Jacobson & Christensen, 1998), we do feel that untrustworthy and unloving behavior in relationships is unacceptable….Openness is not about saying, ‘This is the way I am, and to be in a relationship with me means that you take me as I am.’ Rather, it means, ‘This is what I see in myself, and I believe that I can be better.’ When openness points towards growth, our imperfections and flaws and those of our relational partners actually pull us together more clearly in an intimate bond.” (pp. 27)

Restoration Therapy: Understanding and Guiding Healing in Marriage and Family Therapy by Terry D. Hargrave and Franz Pfitzer