I really like a lot of the sentiment that has been expressed here by Jet and by Tiffany (Mrs. Strutt) and by Softness.
Several descriptions of what OFOS are known to be like, such as: Jet conveying that being OFOS comes from a place of sharing an affinity for romance and passion - something that's innate between the butch and a femme who share and enjoy the dynamic of their relationship dance. I like how Tiffany likened it to "feeling like a soft, many times washed, old cotton t-shirt that fits like a glove" - I like how she decribed that feeling between those who feel they are of the OFOS variety. Also, I enjoyed reading ideas that Softness presented: for example, she was saying that "dating means dating, not sex" and "smiling at a butch means hello" or even "dancing means dancing" together and not something else!
I feel that I am rather old fashioned and of an older, mature, school of thought in that I - for those of you who have met me and spoken with me in person - am pretty quiet by nature and not as 'out loud and proud' as some might think. Even in my past professional career as a practicing, licensed hairdresser (Tiffany might agree with me on this), we serve our clinetele with a gracious spirit and I guess this is what I am trying to say about me - is that there's a spirit of grace that permeates my personality and the way I carry myself. At least I have been told this by people who know me and interact with me on a daily basis.
I have another story (an example) of what I'm like in a different context/situation: My advisor (and Program Director) was gone to Israel on a special trip with colleagues in the department and I needed special assistance. So, I went to our department chairperson - I've had them for several courses - and during our hour long visit to help me resolve a conflict, he said to me that 'I was such a sweetheart of a person' because of how I was trying to make sense of my situation and be considerate of the other person, as well as myself. It felt good to hear him say that to me because sometimes that is not how people read me... if that makes any sense at all.
For me (a Femme perspective), OFOS orientation is connected to -
timing issues: I wait to be invited to dance
romantic notions: a melding of fidelity and trust
relationship ideals: a passionate regard for the traditional
to me, it's an intricate dance of communication skills between two people who share similar values and beliefs and it's not too easy, this dance that we do. That said, it would seem that what I have been able to itemize above might seem to be what most people strive to attain in ordinary ways, but there's something special that occurs between those of us who identify with what OFOS means to those of us who feel we exude these qualities. It seems so hard to decribe in written text - it seems elusive, yet I know and recognise the signs by which we give to one another and how it feels as we live it in our daily lives. Like Jet was saying in an earlier post - being OFOS "
is uncomplicated, unpretentious and worn like distressed leather."
To me, that feels so right and describes how I feel about what OFOS is about.
It's late, so if my post seems to not make too much sense, just know that I'm headed to dreamland soon... My pillows are finally calling me!
Good night and sweet dreams to all of you!