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Originally Posted by candy_coated_bitch
I did my EMDR yesterday. I'm feeling exhausted and a little unsteady, which is normal. My therapist said I might be up and down for a couple days before I notice some positive effects of the EMDR. I've only done it once before this and I found that to be the case.
I'm trying to ground and use visualizations if my safe place to get through. It's helping. I'm going to do some painting as well. That session was fucking INTENSE. I didn't sleep well last night and I'm still tired. But. I get to see my baby niece today and I'm staying overnight so I will get lots of soothing girl time.
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I have found EMDR very helpful, but yes, it does take everything out of me. I have to schedule it at the end of the day. Over time though, when I look back at the traumas I have had EMDR around, I can really tell that my memories are more smoothed out and blurred at the edges. Brain spotting is also very helpful. Have you had that? Its more for if you don't know what exactly is activating your PTSD. EMDR seems more event specific. I have found them both really useful.
I am glad that you went and I hope this gives you the relief you need.
I am so thankful for these therapies that can help us function in the world.
Therapist has something new to try next time I go. I used to have this anger inside I could call on when I needed it. and its just gone now. Then dud groped me, I froze and my throat closed up. What the Hell? I used to be tough as nails and now I freaking freeze. Where is that girl? Where is Helga the Prison Guard? (my former nickname at work by my employees) I don't know where she is. We are going to try to find her.
From what I have been told, groper man is not longer at church and they are supposed to have a meeting after church this Sunday to discuss changes in personnel. So I plan to go and see what happens. I have good support I can sit with. I really hope I can get back to it being a safe place for me.
OK, and on the subject of safe places...it just seems daunting and impossible to remove PTSD trigger occurrences. As well as I try to be.
Anyways, love to all of you!