[nycfem]

Last night was Friday night, and it has been a horrible sleep week and so I have been at the end of my rope with stressful exhaustion. Yet I was excited it was Friday. Then I got a letter in the mail from my job saying I was being denied transfer of my state years of service to my city years of service because I filled out the wrong form first- some utter nonsense after doing everything so carefully. If this is not something I can correct, it has devastating effects on my financial future. BB's out of town so I just started crying like tears were going out of business. My wonderful three cats looked at me with surprise and concern. What is worse is that I can't address it until Monday (work hours). My anxiety was through the roof. I started googling in a circle trying to see if I could be wrong, and it could still work out. It was all vague, so I will be in a great state of anxiety all weekend and potentially longer if it is not so simple to figure out on Monday, even with talking to "the system." They are a disorganized vast system in which you get different answers depending on who you talk to. I absolutely didn't see this coming and have really fallen apart over it. I will just have to let time take it's course and pray that it is not something I can't change. It was horrible timing to get on a Friday night. So I took anti-anxiety meds (Clonopin) and fell asleep at 3 am and woke up at 2 pm to feed my cats. That's 11 hours of sleep. I wanted to go back to sleep again but my anxiety had kicked back in. Tonight I'm going to the movies by myself which is supposed to be a distraction. I hope I can sleep ok tonight. It's hard because when the cats wake me up for food I can't get back to sleep due to anxiety. I leave out extra food but I have one who loves fresh wet food. It's been a hard week, but a horrible weekend. Thanks for listening, sleepers.