my weight has yo yo'd up and down over my life. In my 30s I had gone on an exercise kick and dropped several dress sizes. I was at a professional meeting one day and someone was talking to me when she suddenly realized she recognized me and blurted out "oh my god, you use to be really fat!". Oddly, I hadnt realized I had been "really fat" until she said that. And wondered how skewed my self perception was at that moment too. I acquired body dysmorphic disorder. I would look at myself and sometimes see someone overweight, and at other times, normal weight. I didnt trust either. I couldnt tell who I was.
I still have that at times, but now its no big deal. Its like a light switch that comes on...I simply just switch it off now. I shrug and say "what difference does it make?" and move past it. My body is accepted as is...no matter what size. Or anyone's reaction.
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Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears
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