[imperfect_cupcake]

I have a whole heap of privlidges. I'm white, educated, with an educated family, I can get things that suit my culture (well, ish. enough) and tastes, I don't have kids so I can pick up and move anytime I like. I'm not bogged down by a morgage cause I don't swing that way so I I dont' have the added debt. I have a loan from school but a canauck loan is far better than an american one, at least they removed the provincial loan.

At 16 I had two set of parents that are all friends. I was shown that you can be friends with your ex's and how to do it - as it's important for people to get along if there's kids involved.

My parents have been pretty damn supportive of me. They didn't care I was gay.

We didn't have much money, and we lived in a group house, I had an extremely disturbed and abusive - severely abusive brother - and severely abusive boyfriends... but this thread isn't about how things don't count cause I've got exception tickets.

it's about how I know I've got priveldge. It's hard when talking about walking into shops though... inks gets occationally hassled/stared at because she looks like a big blonde germanic dyke, I get hassled a little more often for having big tits and white blonde hair.

I don't get harassed for my gender, she rarely ever gets sexual harassment. We are both in the store getting harassed. By the same people, usually. If someone harasses inks, I can gaurentee within 5 seconds that harassment will move on to me. Same the other way, though slightly less often. If I get really verbally harassed by an idiot, that idiot will probably then start harassing inks. We look like lesbians when together.

however, on my own I can keep my sexuality to myself in a minicab going home at 2am. Which is wise. minicabs can be dangerous things. I don't know how many times a minicab driver has tried picking me up. It's rather frightening. If I was visibly a dyke to them, I'd be way way more frightened.

There are times I'm very glad I'm cisgendered and not visibly gay. Makes traveling a lot easier. Makes going in and out of countries easier. Inks gets dirty looks and occational extra checks but not enough to bug her all that much. However she was really fucked off in Malaysia because people stared at her all the time, quite openly and we were CONSTANTLY harassed by people trying to talk to her about her tatoos and using that point to try and bully her into buying something/taking the piss/making shitty comments.

I didn't get that kind of harassment in maylaysia. I found people treated me with greater respect there. Her treatment was worse; mine was blissfully free of sexual harassment, mostly.

She has to hide her sexuality at work - or make it a complete non-issue and skips around questions. She works with very ill/terminally ill children and parents often ask her personal questions. she can normally suss out who's going to be ok with it, but the majority of people she can't take a risk with. Not that she'd be fired for being gay and out. It's against the law and it's a respected hospital, run by the NHS. So that wouldn't happen. But she'd find it difficult to talk to the parents in the way she needs to if they had problems with her.

I don't get asked personal questions.

Inks gets far more personal questions about herself than I do. People are more curious about her "presentation" in the mainstream world. Not rude, mostly, but just "you what?? sorry what did you just ask me?" usually from young people, not meaning harm but being pig stupid about stuff and expecting inki to educate them.