[sylvie]

Gemme,

i am SOOO the same way, i swear that it felt as though i was reading my own words right there..

At work, i find it much easier to stay on track too, mostly because we get busy with our shifts and then come breaktime, we have half hour which between that and talking with the others, it's pretty easy for me to stay on track.. i find it much worse when i come home, because i work til 7pm.. and i dont want to eat at work, the food isnt the healthiest there, but getting home at 7pm, showering and THEN eating, i find myself eating at 8 or 830pm.. course, going from our afternoon break til when i can eat at home without eating, by the time i am home im famished..

it's SO easy to fall off track because of this, so a real struggle of mine too.. i'm definitely a picker, grab a lil of this and a lil of that but i am not mindful to how much i am taking in altogether.. it never feels like much when i am just taking a bit of this and that..

i got myself off of sodapop back in April and can honestly say thats something i have NOT done since.. however, i will admit i was so down this morning, i threw change into the pop machine at work and got diet pepsi, and i took one sip of it, and the guilt took over and i poured it out down the sink and tossed the can to recycling.. Why i did it, i dont know. . i think i was so mad at myself for the 4 lbs, so i was punishing myself or something... i dont even crave it these days anymore, so wasnt that i was craving it at that moment, think i was just ready to beat myself up or something.. Glad (now) that i poured it out, that was the best decision i could have made today.. but, ugh! i know the sodapop frenzy well, i used to drink it all day everyday, til i quit it.. i was buying a big bottle of diet pepsi and drinking it all myself through the run of a day and sometimes going back for more! i didn't get water or anything else in my system, what a load of sugar!

my days off are also days i want to overeat, mostly out of boredom.. i could push myself out for a walk, or to exercise, and i feel more motivated to be good to myself, but when i am watching tv or playing here online, i want to eat out of boredom, or by habit because i always ate and snacked while watching tv or here online... especially when i binged..

Just right now, even.. sitting here spilling my guts about how hard it gets, it's taking everything not to go to the corner store and buy the potato chips and stuff i'm craving and eat it, ALL of it.. This morning, i prepared dessert for the residents for lunch, chocolate chip cookies , homemade.. Damn, why did i get stuck gathering those cookies all up and getting them ready??? They looked soooo good, but i stayed strong..

Well, sort of.. i went to the staff lounge, and sat at the table by myself and cried my eyes out.. Over cookies!

Thank you sooo much for the tip on weigh ins.. i weigh in at work, but maybe i should buy myself a scale.. i'm scared i will obsess and weigh myself constantly.. so figured i would weigh in at work, one of the managers keeps track of my weight lost etc for me, and i use her scale, she has a weight watchers digital one... i go once a week that way, but maybe it would be better if i had one on my own...