Oh! And! It never hurts to change the compliments up from time to time.
I used to struggle with what to call my butch when she went to all sorts of trouble to look amazing..and I wanted her to know I noticed..and it worked!
She ids female, so Handsome didn't feel right with her. Beautiful wasn't gonna cut it for her esteem. Finally, Striking rolled off my tongue..and it stuck. Now, I take my own advice and use other words, but I tend to stick to that safe middle ground where I don't feminize her (as a butch) and don't masculanize her (as a woman). So far, so good!
(does anyone find it interesting that "Feminize" is a word but "Masculanize" is not? And is my brain just too tired, or is there a better word out there??)