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arcstriker · 07-31-2012, 11:02 AM

My dad died in July of 2008 from a year long battle with brain cancer. When LL and I met with the Lutheran Minister who did my dads memorial service he said to us. " I am going to make your mother my lifes work to help her not to see your relationship as evil". LL and I both laughed and wished him well with that venture.

I'm convince that Dad was the glue that held our family together he knew how to get us all to table in harmony.

My mother has taken my dads death very hard and she has become increasely more difficult to speak with.

In 2010 my newphew found my mother frozen in a snow drift dressed in her nightgown. Her body temperature was 86 degrees. She was rushed to the hospital. After a week in the hospital she was discharged to a nursing home for rehabilitation. She was confused and down right nasty to everyone except for my nephew. After three weeks in the nursing home they were going to discharge her home. I didn't think that was a wise move because she could hardly walk, care for herself independantly plus she was downright nutty!

I set her up in a very nice Assisted Living establishment under respite care. They made sure she ate well, she was clean and well dressed. She was forced to be social. After 5 months she and my nephew decided that she was well enough to return to her home.

Today she still says some mean things about us but not to our faces. She says mean things about my brother and his wife, but not to their faces.

Those words cut to our very core. I think she has lost her filters but then again I wonder. I remember when I was 38 years old and mom said to me that I was "her biggest disappointment and her biggest failure!". I was so hopping mad I refused to call or speak with her. My dad called me to see what the hec was up so I told him what she had said to me. My dad was shocked, and got us back talking again. It took sometime to get over it, but I never forgot it.

Its okay, I am proud of my life, I am proud of my family, and I so very proud of LL and girls. In the end, its my thoughts about my life and my love, and my daughters are all that matter.

I still try very hard to speak with my mom once a week, and its a struggle.

07-31-2012, 11:02 AM	#58
arcstriker Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Sir Relationship Status: Married to Lisalysa Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: CT Posts: 33 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 63 Thanked 161 Times in 25 Posts Rep Power: 0	I see many of us are at the same juncture in life. My dad died in July of 2008 from a year long battle with brain cancer. When LL and I met with the Lutheran Minister who did my dads memorial service he said to us. " I am going to make your mother my lifes work to help her not to see your relationship as evil". LL and I both laughed and wished him well with that venture. I'm convince that Dad was the glue that held our family together he knew how to get us all to table in harmony. My mother has taken my dads death very hard and she has become increasely more difficult to speak with. In 2010 my newphew found my mother frozen in a snow drift dressed in her nightgown. Her body temperature was 86 degrees. She was rushed to the hospital. After a week in the hospital she was discharged to a nursing home for rehabilitation. She was confused and down right nasty to everyone except for my nephew. After three weeks in the nursing home they were going to discharge her home. I didn't think that was a wise move because she could hardly walk, care for herself independantly plus she was downright nutty! I set her up in a very nice Assisted Living establishment under respite care. They made sure she ate well, she was clean and well dressed. She was forced to be social. After 5 months she and my nephew decided that she was well enough to return to her home. Today she still says some mean things about us but not to our faces. She says mean things about my brother and his wife, but not to their faces. Those words cut to our very core. I think she has lost her filters but then again I wonder. I remember when I was 38 years old and mom said to me that I was "her biggest disappointment and her biggest failure!". I was so hopping mad I refused to call or speak with her. My dad called me to see what the hec was up so I told him what she had said to me. My dad was shocked, and got us back talking again. It took sometime to get over it, but I never forgot it. Its okay, I am proud of my life, I am proud of my family, and I so very proud of LL and girls. In the end, its my thoughts about my life and my love, and my daughters are all that matter. I still try very hard to speak with my mom once a week, and its a struggle.