I think a lot of us (myself included) have this pretty well thought out idea of what we want. The actual putting in place of things is a different story, I'm knee deep in guardianship law pertaining to my mother. (go ahead, try to find a guardian for an elder) Now that I have acquired her as pretty much a dependent who like me, has no other 'kin', the options for what happens to her if something happens to me are dismal. I also have to look at that as my own possible future.
Right now, I don't have an answer, the system is so overwhelmed as to be non-functional. When I started thinking about this I had no idea what to do, so I started reading. I'd like to recommend a very depressing but incredibly helpful book. It points out the pitfalls most gloss over.
A nuts and bolts look at what needs to happen to really make thing work. I read the first half of this in the nursing home, with all of my fathers perfectly crafted paperwork in hand, DNR, Directives, Statement letters...in a right-to-die-state, (where you cannot carry it out in any licensed facility) totally helpless to help him. A real life "All the king's horse's and all the kings men" situation.
I am bound and determined that this will not happen to either my mother, myself, or anyone else I care about in my life. One thing I know for sure, it's a whole lot more about people than money.
How's that for a happy little book recommendation.