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Originally Posted by ClintB
I've been in both dynamics. I used to think I preferred butches only... it took a while for femmes to turn my head. Usually, I am the "softer" of the two. I think other butches are amazing and unique. If they weren't butch they were usually gender queer. I think I was really attracted to the queer aesthetic.
Femmes... it's so strange because I'm not really one who is that attracted to conventional beauty. So while I do see their attractiveness it doesn't really impact me the same. But recently I've gone crazy for them, and I'll tell you why. They really are like goddesses... damn if it isn't hot to watch them crush the world beneath their feet. The bitchier the better (using that in the best sense possible)... I love seeing a strong woman own some ignorant asshole. Their presence and strength is inspiring. I feel like I relax for once, because they got this shit.
But they make me hella nervous. Another butch I can just be frank. I'm all shy and twitchy around femmes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClintB
So I realized my post was problematic... I basically fed into a believe that queer people look a certain way and that femmes don't look not queer. Rather than delete it I'm gunna own up and leave it... I guess we all drink the koolaid from time to time.
It makes me think, I think I held a lot of femme stereotypes. I felt insecure because they look like girls I've spent my life being grouped with and feeling so apart from. I could bet hack the girl thing and I think for that reason I felt, maybe even still feel, uncomfortable. I also have the, "they are pretty, I am ugly" insecurities. Slowly I started dating them, I still feel different, but I'm learning they can find me desirable and that without the society BS the differences are enjoyable and not threatening.
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I think your post was fine.
It seems to me like you are figuring out you are attracted to strong, assertive femmes (and may also match well with a femme who tends to be the more dominant one in the relationship). It seems like you have opened yourself up to seeing that the "power" in a person can come from a feminine place, not just a masculine place as we have been taught. Femme energy is extremely powerful in its own right, and when you match that with a assertive woman you will see the "hot" fireworks come out when they need to "handle shit". It is definitely different when you see it in a femme, rather than just a feminine woman. That is what you are being drawn to. Goddesses, indeed...