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DapperButch · 07-31-2013, 06:36 AM

I don't define holding hands or giving a quick kiss PDA. PDA to me is making out or something that a teenager might do.

It is not unusual for me to hold my partner's hand when I am walking through a parking lot, walking down main street looking at shops, etc. I give her a quick kiss hello when I am meeting her somewhere (restaurant, body shop, anywhere public you may need to meet your partner).

I don't even notice if it makes people uncomfortable. I don't look. I don't care. 20 years ago when I was going to get my ass kicked for walking down the street holding my girlfriend's hand I didn't do it. Now? Unless I am in a place where I need to be concerned, I don't really give a shit.

I think that after years of being a queer you can quickly size up a situation to know if holding hands/quick kiss is safe. I don't think I even think about it anymore, just shift to not touching if needed. But, that is very rare nowadays. Unless I have to worry about our safety, OR I think that holding hands will create an extended uncomfortable social situation for me or TF, I don't give a shit.

I would suggest that for people who are weird about touching in safe areas, that they are struggling with some internalized homophobia, or are emotionally carrying with them some past trauma (being hurt) that they can't shake. No judgement on that, just a thought.

Side note: For reference, I would guestimate that 75%-85% of the people in our area feel some discomfort when they see us holding hands (unless I am passing). It is very unusual to see a gay couple holding hands in our area (I don't think I have ever seen it except for on the local college campus).

07-31-2013, 06:36 AM	#38
DapperButch Roadster Guy How Do You Identify?: FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Posts: 7,745 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,545 Thanked 26,893 Times in 5,771 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I don't define holding hands or giving a quick kiss PDA. PDA to me is making out or something that a teenager might do. It is not unusual for me to hold my partner's hand when I am walking through a parking lot, walking down main street looking at shops, etc. I give her a quick kiss hello when I am meeting her somewhere (restaurant, body shop, anywhere public you may need to meet your partner). I don't even notice if it makes people uncomfortable. I don't look. I don't care. 20 years ago when I was going to get my ass kicked for walking down the street holding my girlfriend's hand I didn't do it. Now? Unless I am in a place where I need to be concerned, I don't really give a shit. I think that after years of being a queer you can quickly size up a situation to know if holding hands/quick kiss is safe. I don't think I even think about it anymore, just shift to not touching if needed. But, that is very rare nowadays. Unless I have to worry about our safety, OR I think that holding hands will create an extended uncomfortable social situation for me or TF, I don't give a shit. I would suggest that for people who are weird about touching in safe areas, that they are struggling with some internalized homophobia, or are emotionally carrying with them some past trauma (being hurt) that they can't shake. No judgement on that, just a thought. Side note: For reference, I would guestimate that 75%-85% of the people in our area feel some discomfort when they see us holding hands (unless I am passing). It is very unusual to see a gay couple holding hands in our area (I don't think I have ever seen it except for on the local college campus). __________________ -Dapper Are you educated or indoctrinated?