[TruTexan]

fulltimefaking,
You are not and never alone in how you feel. There are plenty of us butches out there that have gone through what you're dealing with. I am a female, woman identified lesbian butch, but I don't really care for my breasts, they to me are just things that make me look more like a girl more than I want to. When I worked in physical jobs, they'd get in the way of things I had to do. I always wanted to have smaller breasts that wouldn't stick out so much. Over the years, I've just learned to deal with it by accepting the fact that I have them and they are a part of my body whether I like it or not. I've never wanted Top Surgery, although there are others that have wanted that and did it.
However you feel is just that, how you feel about YOU. Allow yourself to go through your emotions, feelings and logic to see where you can find some kind of comfort. have you thought about binding? That is a way some of us have dealt with our breasts and some still do. There are bras out there you can get that are more flattening for you to a degree. I'm sure there's a thread around here someplace that talks about butches and binding. Try looking in the Butch Forum topics. There's tons of information there other than just that as well. Hang in there and don't ever be afraid to reach out to one of us here on the planet to talk to along with lots of others here as well. Come into chat sometime and meet a few of us and enjoy your stay here.
As Dapper and Bulldog have responded, they are some really great folks to talk to. Don't hesitate to initiate friendships on the site. You belong here just as much as we do. I'm glad you found us. Welcome to the Planet by the way.