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Gemme · 11-03-2014, 08:26 PM

Food was everything growing up.

Friendship.
Entertainment.
Fuel.
Love.
Comfort.
Rage.

I ate to fill the holes that the people in my life created. Holes from abuse. Holes from emotion distance. Holes from being smothered. Holes from being forced to be the adult from age 5. Holes from being bounced around. Holes from public baths of sexism and misogyny.

I ate because I subconsciously thought that I would be unattractive and that unattractive would be good. I had no idea that proximity, circumstance and my age had everything to do with it and not my actual physical self.

Forced to view myself in others' eyes, the picture got distorted. My self worth and identity got snarled up in emotional knots that I covered with junk food and tears.

I think it's great that kids growing up have public figures like Meghan Trainor and Destiny's Child and Christina Aguilera and Mary Lambert and see programs like the Dove Self Esteem Project and umpteen others because it's damn hard being a human being nowadays, much less a female human being. The box we're put into gets smaller and smaller with every passing moment.

11-03-2014, 08:26 PM	#8
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,587 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,179 Thanked 108,763 Times in 25,659 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	Food was everything growing up. Friendship. Entertainment. Fuel. Love. Comfort. Rage. I ate to fill the holes that the people in my life created. Holes from abuse. Holes from emotion distance. Holes from being smothered. Holes from being forced to be the adult from age 5. Holes from being bounced around. Holes from public baths of sexism and misogyny. I ate because I subconsciously thought that I would be unattractive and that unattractive would be good. I had no idea that proximity, circumstance and my age had everything to do with it and not my actual physical self. Forced to view myself in others' eyes, the picture got distorted. My self worth and identity got snarled up in emotional knots that I covered with junk food and tears. I think it's great that kids growing up have public figures like Meghan Trainor and Destiny's Child and Christina Aguilera and Mary Lambert and see programs like the Dove Self Esteem Project and umpteen others because it's damn hard being a human being nowadays, much less a female human being. The box we're put into gets smaller and smaller with every passing moment. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.