Some of this just feels like people being squeamish about sex and the body. Some people are. Even some sex-positive people. We all require clean toys, but I never give any thought to the number of bodies a cock might have had contact with as long as it is clean and covered by a condom.
Re gloves and other barriers. Yes, I use gloves. I also use saran wrap although, honestly, I rarely go down on someone I am not fluid bonded with.
Again, while I am not squeamish, I respect that some people are, and I do not think it necessarily means anything about their body or sex positivity. But I do think invoking the idea of respect is negative and judgmental. I am not sure what fantasy it's feeding. Mentally denying that one's partner has had sex with others seems like hard work to me. Plus I like to hear about their fun times.
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