Quote:
Originally Posted by Martina
That's her experience and perhaps yours. I dare say it's a lot of femmes' experience, but there are femme tops and butch bottoms. There are also many butch femme couples whose sex does not include experiencing the butch partner's need as female.
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Hi Martina,
Yes, I completely agree with you! I definitely appreciate the diversity of b/f dynamics and I grasp the complexity of gender, especially as it plays out in intimate relationships.
In fact, the quote I cited does not resonate with all my personal experiences. So I understand where you're coming from.
I just liked the quote and the author.
I'm just now parsing the previous posts on this thread and trying to formulate a cogent response. As always, there's a lot to chew on here! For now, though, I'm thinking about the idea of butch as a gender. Quite a few writers have conceptualized it this way (Bergman, Coyote, etc.) and many butches I've known have viewed their butchness in this way - not as mere presentation or expression, but as an innate part of their being. In any case, it's an interesting assertion. I wouldn't claim to know about being butch, since I'm at the very opposite end of the spectrum, but I do find it to be an interesting and potentially useful perspective.