[GeorgiaMa'am]

When I saw my mom last weekend, I noticed she hadn't taken her pills for the day. I asked her about it, and she said she forgot. Then she said she forgets all the time. I asked her which ones did she forget? and she showed me all of her medications, including the stapled-together sheaf of prescription labels and patient notes that come with the prescriptions. I was surprised - it wasn't that many, only 3. Or maybe 4?!!

She had gotten two different prescriptions filled within days of each other, that didn't sound to me like they should be taken together. (They both contained HCTZ.) Of course, I don't know for sure, and I'm no medical professional. I asked her, "Did the doctor change one of your prescriptions?" "I'm not sure," she replied. "I don't think so."

So I wrote everything down for myself, and then I wrote two questions for her to call the doctor and ask on Monday morning. I made sure she understood the questions, and why she was asking. Of course, I know, when people have memory problems, that goes right in one ear and out the other. But I hoped that the way I phrased the questions would be simple, clear and help her remember.

So I called her Monday night and asked her what the doctor said. She very patiently explained to me that she was going to wait until her doctor's appointment the first week in December to ask, but thank you very much for worrying about her, and she would be fine, etc. Essentially, she told me to mind my own business.

My mother still lives on her own. She drives and goes places on her own. She keeps up with her appointments (mostly) by writing them on a calendar. Her memory is not so bad that I would come down hard on her and insist. I also wouldn't call the doctor behind her back - at this point. So I just asked her if she was sure ("Of course," she said,) and I let it go.

It's so hard to walk this tightrope of do I? or don't I? I don't want to fight a losing battle with her. I don't want to fight with her at all. Do I tell my sister or not? Probably I will, if Mom doesn't get those questions answered at her doctor's appointment. I'm constantly second-guessing myself, wondering, "Is this the time to push an issue?" "Has she deteriorated to the point that someone needs to monitor her more closely?"

I have no conclusion to this, just constant worry.