Dee, I do hear you and I do get you. I totally do. I get that she's driving you insane or making you feel that way. I get that you are doing this because of your upbringing.....same here with me and my mom. I DO understand that you have to put your foot down about your mom being over all the time, and I totallly get that ....totally. I Live in a seniors and disabled community and the neighbors around me are constantly knocking on my door and needing mo for something. I had to pretty much get ugly about it because trying to tell them in a nice way that they are too needy just wasn't getting anywhere, and all the complaining about themselves. MAJOR stress overload on me and my own shit ya know. Then I have to deal with my own mom and how she treats me at times. OMG talk about major fucking ptsd/anxiety/depression overload,, can you stay stick a fork in me I"M DONE !! Now that I've gotten the point across to most of my elderly neighbors that I"m not available at their beckon call, that part of my stress is reduced a little. BUT, I still have my own crap to handle and then stuff going on with my mom like the shit I am NOW dealing with. Somedays I just wanna move the fuck away and be done with this, but then that part of me that says NO she's your mom stupid, do what you gotta do ,,,, kicks in inside and I stay. I've given up having a relationship with anyone because I take care of mom even though I don't live with her, I still have too much on my plate to even date anyone. .......besides the fact that I live in BFE little town heehaw tx that doesn't have any gays around here. UGH just another thing I deal with. I miss Austin, I miss my few friends there, I miss my cousins and my other part of my family that I connect with, and someday I want to move back to Austin area or atleast near there. I love it there, but alas, I took on my due dilgence to take on my mom and be here for her and any and all issues that come up be it going to doc. appts or fixing something with the car, her house or anything else that goes haywire like paperwork and such. I do what I can on my end, and my younger sister that lives in TN, she takes care of the bitching at social security and paying some of mom's bills for her out of her own pocket cause mom can't afford things like car insurance, etc. If it weren't for my younger sister, my mom would be really in much worse shape than she is. SO, I get EXACTLY where your coming from. I'm just sorry your mom doesn't appreciate anything about you and what you're doing for her.
Atleast mine will apologize to me an then cry and tell me thank you for helping her after she's yelled and screamed at me about her frustrations and whatever is bothering her. I"m sure you're not even getting anything like a thank you at all or even apology for anything she's said or done in the wrong to you and for that ................I can understand your frustrations with your mom and family with what they tell you that you should do. It's not that easy is it ? I KNOW IT"S NOT....period.
Hang in there my friend. Hang in there.
OH and I don't deal with stress on any level anymore. I can't take it or handle it most of the time. My ptsd and anxiety disorder has trumped those coping tools.
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