[Medusa]

Hmm.

We all get to decide what feels comfortable to us in friendships. I don't feel the need to judge how other people do friendships except when their friendship is with me. In that case, I get to have boundaries around what I accept in my orbit just as the other person does.

I cut a Femme out of my life for repeatedly choosing dick over being honest and authentic with me and some of her other Femme sisters.
I don't think fucking, fucking lots of people, or even fucking in ways that make other people uncomfortable makes anyone a bad person. I think we all get to do sexually what makes us feel awesome.

What I don't accept in my friendship orbit (and I'm talking about that one where the women around me have specific intimate access to me in ways that casual folks do not) is behavior that is inauthentic or dishonest. (that goes for any gender as well)

IF this manifests itself with a Femme sister doing really shitty stuff like violating other people's relationship boundaries, saying and doing highly inappropriate things around other people's partners, seeking attention from persons who are partnered monogamously in gross ways, and stepping on the back of other friends to get some sexytime, I am almost always going to cut them loose. This will, of course, come after me having a direct conversation with them (probably many) about their behavior and after the point where I feel like they aren't interested in making changes or being more aware.

I'm speaking about Femme sisters here since this is the vein that we have been discussing but this goes for anyone of any gender behaving this way.

That's not necessarily a "code" to me but I will point back to several conversations about a "Femme's Femme" and a "Butch's Femme".

I feel like there are several levels of conversation going on here and I feel like some of us have very different ideas about what kind of behavior we want from our friends or the behavior that we think is ok. And all of that is absolutely ok. It's what makes us a diverse and unique community of people.

From my me place, my girls are all the type of women that I would trust to sleep naked in bed next to my Butch and I would never blink an eye. Not trying to reduce this to sex, because it's not about sex for me. It's about a deep and abiding level of trust and respect and it is knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that the women in my life whom I call "Sister" are women worthy of that level of high trust.