We may be talking at cross-purposes. I don't know. I think most of what you say is a given. We start from there. But we don't go on to assert an ID so unique that we lose our ability to recognize ourselves in others.
One of the interesting essays I read -- and I mentioned it -- was by a sex worker who did not claim femme until she read an article by a femme about her straight mother. Now her mother was NOT traditional. Sex positive, working class, tough. But the thing was that it was this person's ability to connect to the story of a STRAIGHT woman that helped her with her queer ID. And, of course, Nestle used her mother's experiences to help her stand up against the dykes who were criticizing her as a femme who liked to be fucked by butches. I don't want to separate myself from the examples and experiences of other feminine women.
gotta go. a pot luck awaits. how lesbian is that?
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