Online conversations have sometimes been a challenge for me. I'm often a visual person and picking up facial/body clues from others often helped me determine if something I said was wrong, funny or misunderstood. In the past I've played an online text-based game that involved a lot of heated discussions about how things were understood and interpreted, particularly online. How "the reader" understood things is very different than perhaps what "the poster" intended. And sometimes there is a huge difference between the two (or more).
On "the poster's" side, life's challenges may seep through the writing and present a post that normally would be neutral as being hostile ("YOU said ..." vs "It was once said.."). On "the reader's" side, a similar situation can result in a "knee-jerk" response. We believe that whatever was written was directed solely towards us rather than it being towards the "royal you" (meaning everyone) and we take it personally. We end up with a variety of posts that over-emphasize the idea of "IMO" (In My opinion). "The reader" may have forgotten that this is someone's opinion and could be wrong but is just as valid as other opinions (opinions don't have to be based in fact; they just are a point of view based on different experiences).
Add to that the style of writing. Some like posting in caps (historically on the internet this is an indication of "yelling" or "strong point of view"), some post entirely in lower case and without punctuations. Some write entirely in phone text (it
cn B hrd 2 read) while others english is a second language and a challenge even for those where it's the first. Sarcasm can, at times, be hard to convey and while smilies help convey a feeling or image, there isn't enough of them to truly get the whole point across.
We cannot deny that there are online relationships made. A friend recently commented how his interactions online with people made the readers of his blog feel like they knew him personally. He was surprised and got rather shy when he'd go to conferences where people would spot him, go up to him and ask him how he was doing. Even in a forum like this one (and others), connections are made and we've invested a part of ourselves into the community at large. We feel a connection.
So how do we resolve this challenge between "the reader" and "the poster" when things truly go awry? I know it's happened to me and it's always puzzled me that when something I've posted, entirely innocently intending one thing and it's interpreted as something different, is taking way in a different light. Do I ignore, dig my heels in or.. ?
Thoughts? Opinions? Rants?
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