[Linus]

Originally Posted by PixieStars

I think one way to always be sure is to ask. Lay out how you understood the statement and ask if that's right. Give the poster a chance to look over again what was said and what was perceived and that way no underlining miss communication. I know alot of times my perception or opinion on things can be confusing or easily misunderstood, because I look at it and describe it from my pov which may not always make sense to others. I like to ask questions and questions to be asked because then we know that we are all heard and understood.

That is good advice and something that I've tried on a couple of occasions. Sometimes it works. Sometimes... well, I've been told once that it should have been obvious what their intention was with the past as is.

Originally Posted by Diva

I love this thread, Linus, thank You!

My personal style of 'speaking on~line' is to ~basically ~ type what I'm thinking...and how I would say it to You if You were sitting right here in r/t. "Shy" is not a word folks would use to describe me. I live out loud for sure! I have made a bunch of friends on~line.....I am blessed.

I feel like when I say something, I'm not typing just to hear myself talk. I'm not posturing. Not my style. I appreciate good grammar and spelling and am VERY thankful to The Planet that we have no time limit on editing....as sometimes, my keys stick and sometimes, my "of" looks like "o" or my 5 brains cells do not coordinate....stuff like that. I use caps sometimes to emphasize a word, not to yell, so I find ALL caps inappropriate.

I use these ".............." a lot. When I type <giggle/giggling> more than likely, I really AM. I laugh a lot and love to laugh a lot.

In serious threads, I try to formulate my thoughts in a very careful way, so as not to offend. I don't post when I'm angry. That being said, if I am passionate about something, sometimes YOU hear it when I do.....usually I will preface what I say with "Oh I have something to say about THIS!" so get ready....<giggle>

This is my style of on~line conversation.....

For some reason, when I read your posts I get that idea. As I read this, I looked at your avatar and this made me wonder about something. A question to all reading: do you judge or perceive a post a certain way because of the avatar that the user has? For example, a personal avatar that is smiling, fun or humourous versus one that is dark, depressing or violent.

Originally Posted by Boots13

I like this thread. I have to start getting ready for work, but I'll be back to post soon !

Look forward to seeing what you have to offer.

Originally Posted by Jess

I have been on both sides of "misunderstood" and "misunderstanding". I have also been guilty of the knee jerk reaction when I felt something I posted was misinterpreted . I don't like that in myself and am trying to "hear" better.

Sometimes I get a bit worked up when I think someone is "picking apart" my words and looking for a different meaning. Sometimes, they may be.. sometimes they may be simply assisting me in looking at things differently.

The art of communication takes a great deal of practice and this old dog has been trying a lot of new tricks in the past couple of years. I will continue trying to be better at not " over reading the words" or personalizing them too much.

Thanks to any and everyone who has helped me grow in this!

Great thread Linus!

I think the "picking apart" feeling has happened to me. Usually, I find, it's in threads that are heated and somewhat political or have sides that are entrenched in their view (their "ears" are "closed"). Have others had this? If so, how did you deal with the "picking apart" of your post? Did you feel that it was necessary or did you feel it was a personal attack?

And speaking of which, how do you distinguish between personal attacks versus attacks of ideology? And how do you get threads back on track (on the issue/discussion) rather than about the person?

Many thanks to all of you for participating. Makes me feel all warm all over to have a good discussion.

And since I'm listening to it as I type, I invite you to listen to some holiday music while you ponder the question:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1CR4DjTTjo"]YouTube- The Jackson 5 - Frosty The Snowman[/ame]