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Originally Posted by little man
i was with my mom when she passed. all of us kids were. we had opportunity to talk with her beforehand, to say whatever needed to be said. i was able to hug her one last time, kiss her head when she was gone. i did see her at the funeral home when we took up flowers and pictures and her artwork. nothing. she wasn't there. i felt the same when i stopped off at the cemetery, nothing...she wasn't there.
i feel her more acutely when i'm driving, when i come home from work and she's not sitting at the table waiting for me. the house doesn't feel quite right without her here, but i suppose i'll get used to that eventually.
my family has always been a funeral-going, cemetery-visiting bunch. i just don't feel any connection at the cemetery. because of the way i was raised, i feel a little bad about not going up there. i don't see the point in being there, if she's not there and i can't even feel her there. jeez, i'm babbling, i think.
i think i'm just trying to find my own way to grieve this and still maintain some sort of spiritual connection to her. i think it may well come in the form of taking care of her roses and keeping her garden beds up. when i apply myself to the things she loved, i definitely feel connected and a part of her.
just trying to sort through this and be ok with what works for me.
thanks for sharing. much appreciated.
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Possibly so, find your own way Wil.
And no problem in sharing, just know you are not alone.