[1QuirkyKiwi]

Two-spirit - Masculinity/Femininity – Butch/Femme – Trans/Genderqueer are subject to interpretation depending on a person’s community, family upbringing and culture. Sometimes a ‘label’ needs to be used so that a person can explore who they are and identify their essences within themselves and the Gay community – a foundation in which to build, discover and explore their sexual identity outside of the external influences of life.

My Great-Uncle Hone had both the qualities/essences of masculine and feminine – he could fluidly move between the two when the situation called for it. Similarly my ‘Great-Aunty’ Richard (My Uncles partner of 43 years. As a 4 year old, I saw them as 'married' and it made sense that one was my 'Aunty') was, again fluid in his masculine and feminine qualities, only it was more obvious because if his upbringing – he was from an Anglo-Welsh family that settled in NZ in the late 1800s. His feminine qualities were deemed unnatural for a man to openly display without fear of ridicule from others. He would only ever show this side of himself to family and close friends.

Like myself, my Great-Uncle Hone was raised within the Maori culture, where there were traditionally no gender specific words. All children were/are taught the basics of cooking, sewing, fishing, harvesting, etc, there are specific activities that are seen as ‘traditional’ for men and women, yet, the qualities and essences of masculine and feminine are felt within – a pride of soul. ...... Mana; It is difficult to give Mana a single meaning in English…… A common explanation is to refer to it as 'status' or best to describe someone with Mana as having some sort of 'presence'.

My Mana and define myself as Femme, yet, I can fluidly move to use my ‘masculine energy’ in situations where I have to take more responsibility; such as at work or when a family member is ill and I need to care for them and maybe make decisions on their behalf…… For me, it’s a holistic approach to being vulnerable, having the strength, the patience and knowing my limitations, yet, always remaining myself 'feminine'. A resilience to whatever the heterosexual community throw at me as a Gay woman, I maintain my Mana and potential as best I can be with (hopefully) respect and humility.

Whatever label is used, complimenting roles and the balance between them is an important aspect.

This probably hasn’t made much sense – I know what I want to say, yet, putting it eloquently into words has escaped me…… If I could send it as a feeling, I would.