Originally Posted by Nat
I have spent much of yesterday and today reading and re-reading the "Men with boobs" thread, and the use of default butch pronouns is one of many themes involved in that discussion.
I'm going to attach a poll, but there is not a poll that can cover every person's experience, thoughts, etc. So, in addition to the poll, I'm going to put a more inclusive questionaire below.
What I would like to do is ask anybody who participates in this thread to first fill out and post the questionaire - before addressing another person's answers to the questionaire.
If a question definitely does not apply to you, please write "N/A"
The Butch Pronoun Questionaire
1. How do you identify? Butch
2a. What is your preferred pronoun (when referencing yourself)? Hy/Hys/Hym
2b. Do you feel like your preferred pronoun fits you perfectly? YES
2c. Did you have another or other preferred pronouns in the past? Just these.
3a. Does your preferred pronoun vary depending on setting? No.. always masculine pronouns.
3b. If so, can you please explain why and how? Feminine pronouns do not apply.
4. How important is it to you that people use your preferred pronoun? It is important to Me but I don't make a huge issue of it. I understand to others I may seem to be in need of some feminine pronouns.
5a. If somebody refers to you by the pronoun, "he," and this is not your preferred pronoun, how do/would you feel? It makes Me smile when they do.
5b. How do/would you react? Like the gentleman I was raised to be.
6a. If somebody refers to you by the pronoun, "she," and this is not your preferred pronoun, how do/would you feel? It irritates Me but I cringe and bear it.
6b. How do/would you react? Like the gentleman I was raised to be.
7a. If somebody refers to you by the pronoun, "hy," and this is not your preferred pronoun, how do/would you feel? They do and it is.
7b. How do/would you react? See above.
8a. If somebody refers to you by the pronoun, "zie," and this is not your preferred pronoun, how do/would you feel? This is not something I relate to but I would not make an issue of it.
8b. How do/would you react? Like the gentleman I was raised to be.
9a. When speaking of a specific butch, do you strive to ensure you are using that person's preferred pronoun? YES.
9b. If not, why not? NA
9c. If not, what do you see as the possible effects for that butch and others in the community? I find that respect is necessary and do what I can to find out how someone wishes to be addressed.
10a. Do you associate different traits with different butch pronouns? Not really.
10b. Do you feel that different pronouns clue you in about how a butch may look, think, feel, dress, act, talk, walk, fuck, bond? Of course.
10c. Do you associate different ideologies, alliances or belief systems with different butch pronouns? Of course.
11a. If you are referring to a butch, and you have not had the opportunity to find out what that person's preferred pronoun is, do you use a default pronoun? I ask them. I like picking peoples's brains. I am not a zombie, however.
11b. If so, which pronoun do you use and why? I find out what is important to them. It is all about respect. I do not use default pronouns.
11c. If not, what do you do instead? I ask them how they prefer to be addressed.
11d. Would you advocate a community-wide standard in this case? If so, what would it be and why? No. Free will. Everyone will learn in time.
12a. If you are referring to a hypothetical butch, do you use a default pronoun? No. There is no thing as a hypothetical butch. That butch is "out" there lurking.
12b. If so, which pronoun do you use and why? NA
12c. If not, what do you do instead? See above.
12d. Would you advocate a community-wide standard in this case? If so, what would it be and why? No. No one has the right to enforce one set of "fit-all" protocol on others.
13a. Do you tend to partner with butches who use a certain pronoun more often than others? When I do so, it is always masculine pronouns.
13b. If so, what pronoun? Hy/He His/Hys Hym/Him
13c. If so, can you share your thoughts about why this may be? Because it is the way it should be.
14a. Are there times when you have been corrected for using an incorrect pronoun for a butch? Yes. I have also done the correcting.
14b. If so, how did you feel about it and how did it influence you? I learned that I have a lot to learn. I should be corrected.
15. Do you have any other thoughts regarding the use of butch pronouns? They are what feels right. It is innate.
16. If you could add a question to this questionaire, what would it be?
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