[SassyLeo]

Originally Posted by IrishGrrl

*snip*
Initially, my eye (and other parts) gravitate toward the traditional masculine appearence. What's wierd is..I dont really go crazy over someone who appears TOO masculine. There has to be that hint of softness...in thier hands, thier face..thier voice..thier eyes.

Me too!

Originally Posted by IrishGrrl

I too wonder..if my husband had been more feminine "looking" if I would have initially picked him out as someone I wanted to date. These days, I'm much more flexiable about it. I used to only date butches who were pretty masculine. Now when I see butches who are less masculine appearing..it's thier energy I gravitate towards.(if I were single and gravitating!!!)

Another question that plaques me..

Am I the only femme that thinks..even if my partner is female ID'd..that.

I'm the girl
and
you are the boy?

And what does that mean?

By appearances, I am more the girl and she is more the boy. I definitely felt some of that in my relationships. Not *as much* with Ren, because we both bring masculine and feminine energies to the table. In the past, that may have played out more...but not now. It's definitely a combo of both.

Originally Posted by Gemme

I'm as shallow as tiny trickling creek. I admit it. Own it. Honestly, I probably won't change because if someone can't catch my interest through my eyes, then that's it. End game.

However, what is physically attractive to me is not what floats the boats of others, and I'm thankful for that. Diversity is a beautiful thing!

I have to have someone who counterbalances my femininity. I know what Irish was saying about me=girl, you=boy. I get that, even if many feel it's heteronormative. For me, it's my reality.

I'm secure enough in my insecurity to admit that I feel "less" femme when I am with someone who doesn't balance me....complement me. It's far beyond simply what or who I find attractive; it's tied in with my self-image and how I present myself.

Thanks for your honesty, Gemme. And great that you have the self-knowledge to know what works for you.