[little man]

Originally Posted by rlin

this brings me back to another comparison...
introspection... could that have anything to do with what i am talking about?
are femmes this way too? is this a butch thing? that i just dont look inside me that often? pardon.... or i just never did until recently...

i dont know why i keep tying this up with gender... i think because maybe when i look in the mirror recently i address myself and my mind flows in directions that make me think of the fact that i am butch... as if maybe this helped to keep my from taking a close look at myself... even tho i have always thought and acted as if i were damned proud of being butch...

this is a personal response to this part of your post, rlin.

my creds: im 53, have been out since i was 14 and have never been much good at being a girl, am now into my 8th(?) year of transition.

i don't know that being butch plays into introspection much. i have always, from the time i was very young, been introspective. i've always read a lot and "tried on" different perspectives and thought processes to see how they fit with (i suppose) my experience and view of the world, however limited it was at any particular time.

my dad told me once (i think somewhere in my 30s) that i was more honest about myself and with myself than most people are. he told me that makes others uncomfortable because it compels them to have a look at themselves. i'm not sure how true that is, but it made sense to me.

have you had a look to see what's brought you to looking more closely at yourself, who you are and your place in the world?