[Ascot]

Originally Posted by SoSousMe

I am very hard to miss in a social situation, until people see My chest, I have not had top surgery yet, so sometimes that's the only clue given off that I am not bio male. And it's saved My butt more than once in public restrooms. It's extremely difficult to travel this earth and not be stared at, talked about, looked at with disdain.

I have been threatened, chased, and damn near accosted in a bathroom by a group of women at a wedding in Atlanta. I was chased out of a small town by a small group of teenage boys, the only reason I did not stand My ground, as was My usual reaction, was because I had My 6 year old son with Me. The clerk at the counter and I made eye contact as she picked up the phone to call the local police, she seemed more scared than I. My son was terrified. I had done nothing more than stand in line with My boy waiting to pay for a pizza.

I have been in more bar brawls than I care to admit, due to rowdy college boys believing I was unaware that I was "some kinda fuckin dyke". I never backed down, until that day with My son. Here in My hometown, I was the first out "lesbian", and over the years, this town has become quite the little queer friendly place to live. But back then it was not nearly as accepting. It is when I go out of town where I run into trouble now.

My wifey does not understand why I am always watching the crowd, why, if I see a group of "questionable" men approaching us, I may take My hand from hers. She says it's My being ashamed, I cannot make her understand, it's self preservation at times. I am 47 years old now, and I am not nearly as quick to jump into a fight with a 20 frat boy as I used to be.

You can be damn sure, no matter where we are, I am constantly scanning the crowd, waiting for a fist to fly. This is Texas, in most towns, it's still frowned upon, and trust Me, I've been kicked enough times, punched enough times, and chased enough times to know when to run. And I won't put My girl through that, if she's still innocent to the thought of anti-gay, homophobic hate filled attacks, I will do what I can to keep it that way.

This is the kind of story that tears at my soul. It is just astounding to me to what lengths people are driven by fear and ignorance. When I read something like this I realize how fortunate I've been. I've not once been faced with actual violence for being a butch dyke. Maybe I've always lived in places that are more progressive or open? Who knows. I also don't keep a constant vigilance and perhaps I've had close calls without ever being aware of it. I am not a big fan of PDAs but that's mostly because I find them tacky, and it has little to do with what others would think about it. Having said that, I will hold my girl's hand and not think twice about it, regardless of where we are or who's around. If the spirit moves me, I'll probably kiss her, too. I suppose part of my feelings about public displays have to do with me not wanting to share her with others in that manner. It boggles my mind, what some people find threatening.