[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Poss

The replies to this thread since my last post are amazing and thought provoking. I have seriously taken on board what you have all written. It's wonderful that we feel so open to honestly discuss this subject matter in here. Social networks sites likes this are almost non-existent anywhere in the world. It's certainly encouraging me to view this topic from different angles.

I do think I've been over thinking this whole issue of being femme and strapping on for my butch partner. Right now if my partner was involved in this discussion, she'd look at me and say "YOU THINK!" lol

The thing is, if I don't sexually explore further than where I've already been before; then how will I ever know if I'd like it or not? How will I know if strapping-on is really a boundary, unless I go that far to find out?

It was me that initially raised the discussion between us about using a strap-on during our love making. We aren't getting any younger and its very rare now that we are able to continue making love all night until the sun comes up; like I'm 51 in a few weeks time and my partners in her mid 50's. I was thinking it would be easier on us both if we used a strap-on and some lubricant. We are in our 18th year together and spicing things up by utilising a sex toy seems like a good way to go about it. I just hadn't thought of strapping it on for my partner until now.

Who knows, we could get to the shop and find out that there are strap-on's for femmes and for butches. We could buy one of each and go on living a sexually active happy, healthy and loving relationship long into our retirement years.

If I keep this thinking up, it might be me asking my partner if I can strap-on for her ...just kidding (I think?).lol Because I feel very uneasy and uncomfortable about going into sex shop for the first time, doesn't mean I shouldn't go in there. So if the situation ever arises that I strap-on and find it very difficult to penetrate my partner; then I'll concede that it's a sexual boundary for me, but not before.

Yes! This!

I still feel a little strange going into an emporium of sex! I realize it is my own very puritanical, rigid, upbringing that makes me uncomfortable looking at sexual things and implements in a public place.

In my city, there are a couple of very nice sex shops-type places in regular shopping malls!

All around me in the stores, there are younger and older folks going about their business; not paying me a bit of mind and I then begin to relax. Well, I relax until I have to bring a chosen dildo up to the register. That's when I hand it to the girl-friend for the transport and paying!

We are both older than you and your girl-friend!

How do I know anal is a hard boundary for me?

I have tried a few things with partners over the years and accepted that I did not like it and never wanted to do it again.

No one ever forced me to try it. I wanted to see what it was like and did.

Kudos to you Poss for your spirit of exploration and for maintaining an 18-year relationship!

Both are not easy to do.