[oblivia]

The best dates I've had, regardless of where we've gone, what we've eaten or how much money was spent have had the following qualities...

~My Date's Attention - I feel like I have the attention of my date, no sense of being 'tuned out'.

~Effort - For people I've dated for whom money is not a concern, sometimes coming up with a date idea that does NOT cost money is a huge effort (for example). I just love that feeling that the person I am on a date with has made some sort of unique effort or put energy into the date or the idea of the date - especially if that effort specifically addresses something that they know about me or have learned as we've begun getting to know each other. I find that more creative date ideas are the most memorable, exciting, and truly enjoyable for me.

~Something pretty - Sometimes it's a view. Sometimes it's candles on the table or in the room, or a nearby fireplace. Sometimes it's a sunset. Sometimes it's flowers. Sometimes it's just a nice setting.

~Play - And I mean this in the most innocent of ways (honestly). For me, some element of play is really fantastic on a date. Maybe the other person has a naturally playful personality and says things that make me laugh/giggle, or maybe it's more literal and we play a game of pool, cards, mini golf, or whatever. I love an element of play on a date.

~My Date was comfortable! - Sometimes, with all the energy put into making the other person comfortable/happy or impressing them, one ends up sacrificing their own needs or stepping too far outside their own comfort zones. If you pick a date that you know you'll enjoy too, you're more likely to be relaxed and comfortable - which will put your date at ease! If you're super uncomfortable at fancy restaurants (for example) don't try to impress your date by taking them to one - pick something that you know you can enjoy too. Trust me, if you're uncomfortable - your date will be, too.


One of my favourite dates, was when Sparx surprised me on a weekday at my office - after she'd learned I'd been having a really crummy day. She'd snuck a picnic basket into my car, so when we went to get in the car and head home, She suggested instead that we head to our favourite sunset-gazing spot and have dinner. The really memorable part was that she had packed bread (that she'd baked fresh that day) and all the fixings for sandwiches. The reason she hadn't pre-assembled the sandwiches and had, instead, packed condiments and fixings into individual containers and baggies, was because she knows that I have this thing.... where I like sandwiches to be very very fresh when I eat them... you'll never see me buying a premade sandwich from the deli section -ew. She even thought to pack a side dish and beverages. It was a lovely meal made all the more lovely by the thought, energy, and effort she'd put into making it perfect. And, after we'd watched the sun go down, she walked me to the fancy restaurant in the same park to get coffee and dessert. It was such a lovely and memorable evening.