For the first time in my life, I have zero relationship fears. We talk about everything. I don't have to worry when he is texting (rare as it is) if it's an ex or another girl stepping over bounds. I know where we stand, how he feels about me, our plans for the future, everything.
Growing up I had body image issues, depression issues, fidelity issues. Girlfriends dumping me for boyfriends but wanting to still be FWB, a girlfriend who convinced me I needed diet pills and a strict food regime to be more attractive, partners who would spend more time online than with me whether it was gaming or talking to other people. I've felt not worthy enough, not pretty enough, not wanted, always waiting for the shoe to drop, for something, anything to happen and lose it all. You know, general insecurities I guess.
I am an introvert, I like my alone time and sometimes it is necessary, but my partner is understanding of that. I've always worried it would feel a partner feel rejected but it is necessary for my mental health, for our relationship. I need recharge time, whether it is mindlessly binging Netlflix or cuddling or sitting and reading for hours or just some long, slow, loving sexy time. If I can't get that, any relationship I am in is doomed. Sometimes I just need to quiet my mind, sometimes I am just feeling down/sad/'off', sometimes I just really want to read a book I am sucked into or I become a bitch, LOL.
So yeah. Current relationship fears are non-existent and it still amazes me somedays. I never looked into it so deep before, and now it's like a lightbulb has gone off
