[charley]

Knowing yourself

The fact remains that most people build a foundation based on comfort, in their search for security. And, where there is this desire for comfort, for security, there is always fear - fear of losing that comfort, that security. And, because of that fear, there is no possibility of understanding. It is that very fear that blocks looking within. And so, without knowing who one is, there is no possibility of understanding what one is. And, I am saying that true meditation is all about the discovery of what one is. Therefore, to summarize, without knowing oneself, there is no possibility of understanding oneself; and, without understanding oneself, there is no possibility of true meditation occurring naturally. In a way, one is using the word “understanding” as implying intelligence, and not intellect and IQ. So, to understand anything, one has to grasp something in its entirety, which means that one actually stands under the self - getting to the bottom of one’s self. So, again, I am stating that without knowing oneself, there is no possibility of meditation occurring naturally.

Without knowing who one is, there is no possibility of going further. So, what I am saying is that the foundation must be built on knowing who one is. It is only when one knows who one is, that there is the possibility of right action, including that of knowing what to do with one’s life. Moreover, it is impossible to actually have a relationship with another person, with the “other”. Such a person can only have arrangements with others that are usually based on comfort and security. And, because of what I have mentioned previously in an earlier post (on “Integrity”) regarding the means and the ends, someone who doesn’t know who they are is most likely to use wrong means to achieve their ends; and so, of course, there is always a hidden agenda, and a lack of transparency. This implies, of course, that they have not laid a proper foundation in their life to begin with. Such people always cause mischief and confusion in the world, and are at the very centre of conflict and hence of sorrow.

It is easily seen who is incapable of true meditation: all the bullies, the liars, the hypocrites, the people who play mind games with others, the people who play god with others, the people who indulge in calling others names (the rather childish and stupid ad hominem attacks), people who try and sabotage and obfuscate (by people who advance argumentation only for the purposes of trying to distract), people who invade another’s space (whether physical or psychological), people stuck in respectability (such people have no genuine respect for the “other”).

The fact is when you realize that you don’t know yourself, the easiest way to begin that self-knowledge is just to observe yourself - when you are with someone else - in other words, at the same time that you are interacting with someone. So it is important to be aware of how you treat them, to be aware of yourself when you talk with your neighbour, your friend, your partner, the stranger you don’t know - in effect, with anyone. So, when you lie to another, knowing full well what the truth is, you are not being true to yourself, and it also means you are incapable of true relationship.

Again, there is only one way to know oneself, and that is to through one’s reactions, through the manner in which one responds in life with other people - and not through admissions of knowing (for example, saying, “Well, I’m competitive,” etc.); and, therefore, not through words, and that is because those very words themselves prevent one from seeing oneself. These words are nothing but a screen that prevent clarity, and this is what it means when you have most probably heard of the expression, “seeing through the glass darkly”. So, what I am saying is that it is important to observe oneself without using words, quietly, just seeing one’s reactions. To be more precise, when one uses words as a means to describe oneself, as a means to interpret one’s behaviour, one is displacing the natural faculty of attention from seeing oneself - and thus is moving the reaction into the field of thought, thus trying to alter the characteristic into a static state, which then results in it becoming more difficult to observe oneself. And, that is why certain people are predictable in repeating their toxic behaviour, because the very means they use (such as words which they ascribe to themselves) actually blind themselves to knowing themselves.

Please understand that relationship itself is the very foundation of life. And, relationship means to be related, to be in close contact with, to feel something deeply in one’s blood. So, without this deep intimate knowing of oneself - in other words, without being in relationship with oneself, one is apt to feel lonely when not with someone, one is apt to attach to anyone to avoid feeling this loneliness, one is apt to play with words, obsess with habits, drown oneself in alcohol or work, etc... and so on. When one feels one is related, one feels love, and generosity of spirit. A selfish person is - generally speaking - an unloving person; it’s easy to see, as they are chintzy and cheap with their words when they talk with the “other”. On the other hand, they may flood another’s ears with loads of placating praise or clever words, just to leave a certain impression. So afterwards, when anyone behaves badly, abusively, lies or whatever it is, this selfish person will say nothing, or even make excuses, rationalizations, justifications for the abusive one’s behaviour. It is their intent to keep people at a distance by not being forthcoming with the “other”, and so on and so on - all because they are afraid of losing friendship with the abusive person - fear of not being liked. You ask a question, they change the subject, etc. One could go on with this, but I’m sure you have met people like that.

Personally, I don’t put up with nonsense by such people.

What I am saying is that meditation is not some isolated activity that one practises away from life. Meditation must be an integral part of one’s life. I also feel very strongly that meditation is the birthright of every human being on the planet. Those who have abandoned their humanity have displaced their birthright.

Goodness

The very essence of virtue is goodness. And the very essence of goodness is generosity. Obviously, selfish people will have a problem understanding what “generosity” really means. It is important to understand that goodness arises from right action, right behaviour. When the Buddha put down his 8-fold path, his intention was to show the manner in which behaviour lies at the core of being good. For the purposes of this discussion, I am not using the word “good” in the sense that it is normally used in society as society is - in other words, being a so-called “good” citizen, paying your taxes, working your buns off to fit into a corrupt and insane world, etc., contributing to the GDP, etc. - everything that people do to fit in, to conform, to be liked, to be popular. I am using the word “good” in its original sense, as in rightness, as in correctness, as in the sense of well-fitting.

Meaning of Life

Without a true foundation, all forms of “fake meditation” are only self-hypnosis, because they lead to illusion. The very word "illusion" means “to play falsely”, “to play with things that aren’t real”.

[As an aside, is important to note that the word “thought” also means “thing”. So, a person who likes to play with different thoughts is playing with things that aren’t real - in other words, is playing falsely. A mind that is full of thoughts will have trouble seeing clearly because all those thoughts get in the way, like trees in the forest that prevent one from seeing the whole forest - whence the expression: “get that plank out of your eye”.]

Insofar as the meaning of life is concerned, everyone likes to define and have and develop their own particular meaning of life.

Please understand that having a sense of the meaningfulness of life that one has personally... has absolutely nothing to do with the meaning of life that others try to impose on people, that people adopt from others, etc., or that people project outwards out of their own conditioning.

Personally, one has discovered why one is female, why one is gay, and why one is butch (apart and besides everything else that one has discovered within), and even why one appears more masculine than when I was younger and prior to meditation, and this understanding has added to one’s sense of the meaning of one’s whole life - apart from all the other discoveries that one has made. Please understand that the uncovering of the "I" process yields a meaning of life, and this is what is crucial. Obviously, having such a sense of the meaningfulness of one’s life is not subject to change, is indestructible, is independent of anyone else’s beliefs or ideas, and gives a person an inner strength that no one else can extinguish.

Create your own mirror

Thousands of years ago, when you wanted to see yourself, to see what you looked like, you had only to find a pond, or a pool, or a bowl of water that was still (that is quiet), and you could bend over and see yourself; in other words, you would see a reflection of yourself in the water.

[As an aside, it is important that to see yourself, there must be a certain amount of stillness within. The meditation methods that I have seen online, offer stillness as a goal to be achieved, which is entirely false.]

As mentioned previously, the word “meditation” comes from a Sanskrit word “ma”, and means to think about, to consider, to ponder, to reflect... So, when the right foundation has been laid, intelligence can operate within, unconsciously. It is intelligence that needs to be awakened because intelligence is the intermediary between reality and truth. So, what happens is that you create a mirror, a reflection of yourself within, which will show you thinking, feeling, sitting, standing, talking, gesticulating... whatever you are doing - in sum, showing you all of your reactions that flow from your conditioning; and, all one does is attend to this mirror, this reflection of yourself, this image of yourself, thinking and feeling, and follow this image of yourself to wherever it leads. What you are doing then is uncovering the entire “I” process, and it is through this uncovering of the “I” process, that all sorrow can end. It can only end when one is fully conscious of this suffering, this sorrow within. And, all the discoveries which you make will be your own, which no one can take away from you. And, of course, because these discoveries are your own, you can talk about them. Personally, I found this creation of a mirror/reflection within to be one of the most remarkable and wondrous of journeys in the world to have seen as to “what is” going on inside... absolutely marvellous.

To summarize, when the mind is ready to see oneself, to confront oneself, is free to see, and has a properly laid foundation, it is then that intelligence can create this mirror within. Everything within is now in a state ready to yield to seeing this “I” process. Even the brain, which - usually in demanding security - would tend to oppose/obstruct this seeing, even to the point of lying to you to prevent you from seeing yourself - will now yield to this incredible creation from within.

One cannot provoke or manufacture such a reflection within. It must be natural occurrence.

[As an aside, being fed up (in a state of discontent) can give you the necessary energy to see inside.]

And finally, I will say, it is usually a crisis or shock that can offer the opportunity to say to oneself, “I don’t know ... what to do”, and it is this understanding and admission that may open one up to this wonderful creation, and find oneself in the midst and depth and journey of true meditation, of the discovery of what one is.