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Old 01-13-2014, 01:12 PM   #16
imperfect_cupcake
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I put my own care first
 
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Honey, I'm not real attached to most stuff. When I cry it's about the loss my daughter has. The furniture was just furniture. OH! We got our fire safe open and my backup harddrive is FINE. So, we have all our photos. The old fmaily pics are gone but the ones of my daughters life are fine. Those are the "things" I'm attached too. My daughter is different. She's a kid... ya know... they deeply with a passion love their objects. We got her a couple little things and she understands it's going to take time to get her stuff.
I apologise for not being very clear. I was in no way referring to what you were crying over. I was only talking about my own Journey in losing everything, using certain items that most people feel very attached to for emotional reasons. Since I don't expect most adults to not care if they lose "stuff" I hardly expect a child to fathom loss of any kind. We learn by experience.

The only thing I really wanted to convey to you, in attempting to bring you some hope, is that for me, the hardest part was watching the loss happen and the initial panic. There are layers to the loss, and there are pockets of emotional setbacks in the forward motion of moving through it. The first time I would want to show somebody something or have something that I wanted to share or give and ... It wasn't there. The security of that place - my home, my job, my relationship - and of the sense of self that went with it, a portion of my identiy was gone. And I didn't understand just how much of myself was invested in my sense of security and how much it defined me.

Losing that hurt. A lot. I had to find a new identiy and sense of value I could show to others. That comes from a typical North American Puritan style work ethic. I didn't even know I had it, coming from an atheist family. But it permeates our society anyway.

I have no idea if you will struggle with it. I am only saying if you do... You can get to redefining and it actually will show you something that others can't see. It's like a veil (maya) gets lifted and you can see something about a layer of reality that other people don't have, because they haven't had it thrust into the face and had to cope.

That's all. Apologies for not being more clear.

Last edited by imperfect_cupcake; 01-13-2014 at 01:15 PM.
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