Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Communication 101: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Gemme · 06-16-2010, 01:52 AM

Kindness isn't translated well over the internet. For me, it goes beyond body language and intent.

If someone...let's pick on Juney some more, shall we?...if Juney says to me that she finds make up sexist and (not connected, but still something that she noticed) that, with my current made up face I look like a cross between a hooker and a circus clown pandering for approval from strangers, I would be okay with that. Honestly.

Because I see her kindness in not wanting me to look like someone who is seeking approval outside of myself. But not everyone knows how kind June can be. So, they might view the exchange through their filter and their filter comes customized with years of violent verbal and physical abuse, so they begin trip, trip, tripping down memory lane....all because of Juney being kind enough to not want someone to look like a horny clown and me being heavy-handed in the makeup department.

Listening online...in the "right" ways...is comprised of the same components that listening in the "right" ways in person is. Person A speaks. Person B hears what Person A said and repeats back what Person B thought s/he heard Person A said. Person A either confirms or denies and corrects what Person B heard. Rinse, lather, repeat.

My thoughts are kind of helter skelter right now, so forgive me if I'm not making sense.

The potential for ugly is always there. It's a tightrope we walk every day (Obviously, I'm having some sort of fascination with the circus right now....it's probably jealousy that a coworker got to go see Kooza this weekend and I didn't but I'm trying to let it go....no, really....).

You know what cures a lot of things and is really, really simple and free? Air! If we all took one or twelve or five hundred and thirty-two deep breaths before posting (especially on the more heated threads), I think we'd be able to practice better communication skills more often (or pass out from hyperventilating, but yanno...).

If it worked for Drew Barrymore in Ever After, it can work for me. I. Just. Breathe.

06-16-2010, 01:52 AM	#13
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,587 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,179 Thanked 108,771 Times in 25,659 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	Kindness isn't translated well over the internet. For me, it goes beyond body language and intent. If someone...let's pick on Juney some more, shall we?...if Juney says to me that she finds make up sexist and (not connected, but still something that she noticed) that, with my current made up face I look like a cross between a hooker and a circus clown pandering for approval from strangers, I would be okay with that. Honestly. Because I see her kindness in not wanting me to look like someone who is seeking approval outside of myself. But not everyone knows how kind June can be. So, they might view the exchange through their filter and their filter comes customized with years of violent verbal and physical abuse, so they begin trip, trip, tripping down memory lane....all because of Juney being kind enough to not want someone to look like a horny clown and me being heavy-handed in the makeup department. Listening online...in the "right" ways...is comprised of the same components that listening in the "right" ways in person is. Person A speaks. Person B hears what Person A said and repeats back what Person B thought s/he heard Person A said. Person A either confirms or denies and corrects what Person B heard. Rinse, lather, repeat. My thoughts are kind of helter skelter right now, so forgive me if I'm not making sense. The potential for ugly is always there. It's a tightrope we walk every day (Obviously, I'm having some sort of fascination with the circus right now....it's probably jealousy that a coworker got to go see Kooza this weekend and I didn't but I'm trying to let it go....no, really....). You know what cures a lot of things and is really, really simple and free? Air! If we all took one or twelve or five hundred and thirty-two deep breaths before posting (especially on the more heated threads), I think we'd be able to practice better communication skills more often (or pass out from hyperventilating, but yanno...). If it worked for Drew Barrymore in Ever After, it can work for me. I. Just. Breathe. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.