[Nat]

What an exciting thread topic - I'm really looking forward to reading everybody's responses.

When I first entered the femmebutch community, I felt lots of pressure to be more feminine. At first, it was also rather fun to get all dolled up. Also it felt freeing to play with beauty, style, femininity and know that my intended audience was queer - I felt a lot of release from the male gaze when I first entered the community.

But I'm afraid I also transferred that internalized male gaze onto butches and felt somewhat oppressed because of it.

As far as pressures go, I have over time become more frustrated with not being interpreted as queer at all - which in a way counterbalances the other pressures. *

I do resent what I see as pressure from within the community to be as straight-seeming or straight-looking as possible in order to have femme cred, but I haven't encountered that message overtly all that often.

These days I just am myself. I am feminine (I think), but not super-feminine. I just try to be authentic and I avoid people who would not appreciate me for that.