Thank you everyone for your input and encouragement. It has given me a lot to think about. Having had some time to reflect on this latest rejection has made me realize something. The right woman for me will be interested in dating me because of
who I am and not
what I am. The girl I asked to date, she makes a good bit of money. But I would have still asked her out if she was homeless and living in her car. It's because of who she is that I love her, not her money, or house or car or her 401k. That's the difference, I guess.
I am making a lot of progress with my PTSD and panic disorder. My panic attacks are not something that result in me hurting or lashing out at anyone else. It's more like I curl up into a ball and shake and cry uncontrollably. The things that trigger it are loud noises, large crowds and the smell of smoke, although occasionally I get an attack and have no idea what it was that set me off. But this is something that is getting better. My agoraphobia is getting a lot better. I am getting out of the house more to see friends, with whom I feel safe. My depression has lifted and I am feeling optimistic about my future. I have occasional set backs, but the general trend has been encouraging.
I am ready to date I believe. As for a relationship, I am someone who takes a long time to decide if I want to take that step with someone. I will date a girl for months and months, even a year before I will consider a commitment. I believe it takes time to get to know someone and you have to spend time with them in various contexts before you can know for sure they are the right one. So I am in no hurry to commit. I would like to be further along in my healing process so that I will have more to bring to the table in a relationship anyway.
So there's my thoughts. Thanks everyone, again for your support and feedback!
