[Rockinonahigh]

I never thought I had an eating disorder untill I had to face the fact that I had near eaten my way to being a diabetic,even then I was in denyal for a while.I mean fruit is healthy...right....bread is or was supose to be good for ya.I mean food is what keeps me going from one carb high to another day after day.What really brought it to me like a cold slap in the face was over the last mardi gras season,I was takeing some pies that had sat in the friges for a fue days so I desided to throw them away...I did ok till the last one,a pecan pie.I walked to the fridge to take it out to the trash on way out the door I picked up a fork ..one more bite for the road.....wrong...I sat on the trunk of my car at 10pm stuffing as much pie in my mouth as I could.I swear I heard a voice say, Hey fool look what u r doing,I stoped to c who it was then I realise it was my inner voice telling me each bite was like playing russian roulett one bite at the time.I had to finaly admitt I was ging to have to own up to my eating habits and fast.Over all now some months later I have changed my eating habits slowly one day at the time to where im in controle of what goes in my mouth.I journal every thing I eat and journal how I feel before I do anything..it has kept me acountable to myself.I have lost weight,inches and two pants sises,I have gone from 303 to 249 since January of this year.I have some more to go but I know I can get there and maintain it when I do.