[Gemme]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

see? ME. this has happened to me TWICE. Absolutely humiliated and knew what it looked like when I reached into my bag and.... omfg. ...no...nonononono.... NOOOOOOOO.
FUCK!!!!

then begging them to swing past my place so I can re-imburse. Of course they won't. they are too polite. I look like a dickhead.

I am a seriously bad date half the time.

One time I sat and babbled about the chemistry of this one women's job for 15 min while she stared at me in glazed boredom.

another, two bicurious drunk 20 somethings came over to our pub table and started talking to me and trying to pick me up cause they loved my breasts. Luckily my date thought this was fucking hilarious as she watched me try and deal. But mostly that would not have flown. I could not get rid of them cause my date was sniggering and so I turned and said "right. since this is so amusing, I'm going to the loo. YOU can get rid of the leg humping yorkies." they were gone when I got back.


another, I realised mid-date that she was one of my very long term (we grew up down the road from each other) old friend's ex-wife. And introducted this fact by putting down my fork and said "omg. I know your dog! really well, actually..."
"really? how?"
"cause I've known your exwife for 27 years?"
Bad, bad date

I could go on. seriously. I have lists of these. One I knocked myself out on a tree branch.

You should seriously write your memoirs. I'd buy the fuck out of that book.

Originally Posted by girl_dee

"are those real"

This is where having a glass eye would come in really handy.