[undone]

long winded i know but hear goes

Soul mates…..


Well in my own way yes. But in my own way. I have a soul mate she is my soul mate because she gets me knows all of my flaws and weaknesses and loves me still totally and completely even when I am a complete ass. She has been the friend in high school that I would have traded anything to switch her for my sister (if you had a little sister less than three years younger you know why) she is the one person who looked at me and said so what's you point when I came out. Never batted an eye or lost a step. I would defend her and her children with my life if it ever came down to it. She is the one person I can depend on or trust in this world no matter what happens. She is closer than any family I have ever known. I know it is the same for her.

A soul mate in a life partner? Maybe, some have found that kind of love I pray, I hope to someday. But in thought not feelings and emotions, I have to compare to history and my experience of course.
Marriage did not start out as a thing of love, it was a way for families to barter or combine for power wealth land title or just for survival purposes. Helping to run a farm and be able to have clean clothes or hot food on the table. She was there to comfort and his role was to provide. And then love came into it, a little more but of course parents had their say about whom would be acceptable, could she help build a strong family, keep a household running, be an asset to his character and reputation. Did he come from a good stock, will he tow the line, and again provide for her.
Then a little more heart and soul were permitted in to the choosing dating was becoming acceptable, and how they felt about each other began to take root and role in the choices, but even when a poor choice had been made they were not permitted to undo the vows once taken, when divorcé became more common and more acceptable then of course that leads to today. Where some marry many, many times or commit many times to various others or sometimes we do need a do over to learn what not to do and what does or does not work, and that second marriage or commitment is the on of a life time.

So in the end I do believe in soul mates but I don’t think they are always meant as spouses. I believe that our spouses and lovers come and go for reasons a time a season, and sometimes we just grow in different directions, and our needs change to something that the relationship can not fulfill as terribly sad as that is. I have experienced this twice in my stint on this planet so far, and I hope to have the opportunity to meet some one wonderful again that I can share with and grow with. I have learned how ever that forever well just is not a practical thought the way I believed it would be several times before. Ohh but wouldn't it be lovely to find some one who can help me to be a believer again


And hear come Mike Peter and Davey singing in my head