Quote:
Originally Posted by AtLastHome
I would like to know from other butches, how you view the B-F dynamic in terms of how and why you were initially drawn to it. Is it mostly about attraction to femmes for you- or does it run deeper in terms of your butch identity? Maybe you have an attachment to butch historically (going back to what defined butch years ago), within a class, ethnic or racial perspective... or not?
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excuse me for being late in this thread, but i like the question ...
i think i was butch way before the butch-femme dynamic even occurred to me. tomboy kid .. i was always mistaken for a boy. i had a short phase of conforming to some femme archetypes and then sort of naturally slid back into just being me. i've always preferred a "masculine" style of dress and in fact, having also grown up with rather a feminist approach, by nature and nurture, it never occurred to me that my biological sex meant i had to conform to what society defines as my gender. i'm not comfortable with either "masculine" or "feminine" as words, never mind labels.
i dated bois and i dated wannabe butches, as well as "feminine" women. i dated a few people who defined themselves as femme. it fit way better. it just felt right - as long as they weren't into un-feminist stereotypes too much ... and i try hard not to act in a "chauvinist" way myself, even under the guise of irony.
so for me butch is about ...
- style
- walking on the right hand side of her in the way of chivalry i.e. to keep your sword arm free in case you have to protect her (what complete bollocks, but i find myself doing it anyway)
- feeling like the top even when i'm on the bottom (dang, that's not a butch thing either is it?)
- lol and it's back to style ... the way i dress, walk, talk ... the way i present myself to the world and the way that the world perceives me.
... and i worship my feminist femme lover - and unlike friendships, a lot of the things i worship about her, are things that are very different to me.