[dixie]

Originally Posted by Martina

She thinks we are ugly and gross (we flaunt our sexuality), and even if we "can't help it," we are to be avoided because . . . well yuck.

I've always despised the phrase "flaunting our sexuality". I hear it a lot from folks. The joys of heterosexism I guess. They don't seem to realize that their sexuality is "flaunted" in every hand-holding couple, public and on-screen kisses, marriage, etc etc, even simple advertisements for restaurants showing straight couples having a romantic dinner. It's all flaunting, so to speak. Yet since they are of the favored sexuality, the "norm", it doesn't apply to them whether they are even aware of it or not.


I do agree with some of the things I've read in here, in regards to how we are categorized and measured/compared, according to our looks. As a femme, I do have that "pass" into the straight world. If I identify myself to others, depending on the setting, I do get that super annoying "you don't look queer" response. When I was younger and just getting into the local bar scene, I was usually mistaken as the "token straight girl" hanging out with the lesbians and drag queens. (Luckily, I've been around long enough now that they all know me for who I am lol) I think little things like this are a part of what makes me such a loud and proud individual regarding my queer identity.


I have also known a few butches who seemed to gravitate only towards straight women. Like Nat said, it would definitely seem to up the chances of heartbreak by pursuing these relationships or interests. I'm not quite sure what the fascination or attraction would be going into it, knowing that in most cases the outcome would be less than favorable. To each their own, though. We all have different preferences for attraction. Just look at the many attractions and dynamics within this community alone.